COUNTDOWN: A whole world of pain: 8 of our favourite Furmanisms

If you’ve ever sat down and read the Generation 1 Marvel UK comic, or indeed any printed Transformers fiction penned by legendary writer, Simon Furman, then you may be aware that he’s rather well-known for certain literary flourishes. This includes a repertoire of oft-used signature phrases that are deployed with abandon whenever possible, known collectively as “Furmanisms”. Once you’re aware of them it’s almost impossible to read something of his without waiting for the next Furmanism to drop! So today we’re counting down 8 of our favourites and considering how they could be usefully applied in everyday life.

 

#8: “…the worst case of indigestion you’ve ever had!”

Artwork Credit: Galan / Amash

This one crops up no less than twice in the 12-issue run of the Generation 2 comic alone, with the example above coming from #11’s Dark Shadows. One can only assume that Furman was particularly sensitive to the idea of after-dinner discomfort and chose to incorporate that into his writing. As for how practical this one is, well, I can see plenty of times I might be able to say this to someone. Potentially you’re wandering home after a night on the tiles when out of concern you say to your mate, “Best just have the one kebab tonight, or you’ll have the worst case of indigestion you’ve ever had!“. Easy.

 

#7: “…what chance then for the rest of us?”

Artwork Credit: Senior / Yomtov

This one often crops up as “What chance do we have?” as well, but I chose the example above from the legendary tale, On the Edge of Extinction as this particular Furmanism happens *twice* in the one story! Again, I can imagine plenty of practical uses for this one. Maybe you’re in a supermarket scouting out the fruit and veg isle when suddenly a fellow patron nabs the last bag of carrots, after which you turn to one of the people working and ask, “I noticed they just took the last bag of carrots – what chance then for the rest of us?” Give it a whirl!

 

#6: “…it’s time I made a stand!”

Artwork Credit: Senior

Another classic Furmanism this, and a particular favourite of Carnivac, who uses the phrase on two separate occasions (including #239’s A Savage Place, above). He’s always making time for stands, that Carnivac. Anyway, you could follow his example and use this phrase at home, potentially the next time you’re looking for somewhere to house a TV or something.

 

#5: “…I can do no less!”

Artwork Credit: Anderson / Jozwiak

One of the all-time great Furmanisms, sometimes presented as “Can I do less?”. Ultra Magnus is ably showing how it’s done in the mega-classic tale, Target: 2006, above, but really this is one that a lot of Autobots (and the odd Decepticon) trotted out during the original Marvel run. Try it yourself when you’re haggling with a potential buyer over your next second-hand robot sale and see where it gets you. Worst case they tell you your bargaining posture is highly dubious, eh?

 

#4: “…it is over, finished!”

Artwork Credit: Wildman / Baskerville

One of the most infamous Furmanisms of all, used on countless occasions throughout the Generation 1 comic and beyond. Scorponok gives it a good go from …All This and Civil War 2, above, but the most common ‘bot to drop this particular phrase was definitely Optimus Prime. In Transformers-world you might expect this expression to signify the end of a battle of some kind, but I reckon it’d make a rather punchy conclusion to a trip to the cinema. As soon as the screen turns black at the conclusion of the film, simply stand up and with purpose utter those wise words and walk out. You won’t be wrong.

 

#3: “…a whole world of pain!”

Artwork Credit: Anderson

This descriptive phrase conjures up all kinds of imagery, although it was perhaps never better-used than in the opening narration for the B-plot storyline, Underworld! in #245. It’s become a bit of a staple for a couple of characters since, but I reckon there are any number of possibilities for how to cram this one into everyday life. Your next trip to the dentist, perhaps? A dramatic exclamation whilst completing a rather complicated tax return? Give it a try!

 

#2: “…better to fight and die than live with the knowledge I ran!”

Artwork Credit: Delbo / Bulanadi

Of all the many Furmanisms I could think of, this stands out as one of the all-time greats, surpassed in terms of its obviousness by perhaps only our #1 entry below. There is no better example of it in action that the panels above from Rhythmns of Darkness!, especially as Jazz cannily combines it with a whole host of other Furmanisms in one fell swoop! This might also be one of the least practical examples to cram into a real-life situation, but we’re game for a challenge even if it comes at the price of a moment of awkwardness or two. I might try this one out at home the next time I’m being thanked for capturing a particularly large spider and returning it to the outdoors.

 

#1: “…it never ends!”

Artwork Credit: Senior / Amash

Perhaps the ultimate, single-defining Furmanism, and one that has become so synonymous with the writer’s work that he uses it himself in all manner of non-fictional circumstances, even as a personal sign off. It had cropped up a fair few times before but this phrase earned its position of prominence by first being the closing words of Another Time & Place, a text story which serves as the conclusion to the original Marvel Generation 1 run, before being deployed again at the very end of Generation 2. Since then it’s become the go-to phrase whenever a story needs to be wrapped up, although it’s not hard to think about how this might be useful in an everyday situation as well. Perhaps you’re exacerbated by the rather mammoth pile of laundry you’re trying to work your way through, or potentially you’ve about halfway through a re-watch of Transformers: The Last Knight (you poor sod). Either way this one should be useful in any number of situations.

 

So that’s our list! What are some of your favourite Furmanisms? Thanks for reading!

TTFN